What is EMDR? Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a psychotherapy approach designed to help people heal from trauma and distressing life experiences. Our brains have a natural system for processing information and sometimes experiences overwhelm that system, become a dysfunctional stored memory, and show up as triggers during everyday life. EMDR involves recalling traumatic memories while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, taps, or sounds. This process helps the brain reprocess traumatic information, reducing its emotional intensity and enabling more adaptive coping.

​Unlike traditional talk therapy, EMDR does not require individuals to speak in detail about their trauma, making it accessible for those who struggle to verbalize painful experiences. It is recognized as an effective treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and has been adapted for use with other mental health disorders such as anxiety and substance use. Many clients report significant improvements in fewer sessions compared to other therapeutic approaches.  

If you are interested in EMDR therapy in Tallahassee or Apalachicola, Gulf Wind Counseling has a certified EMDR therapist, Nikki Flagg, ready to answer any of your questions and provide effective EMDR treatment to improve your mental health.  

I’m in my first serious romantic relationship with someone I really like, but how do I know what a good relationship looks like?  Romantic relationships take work and are not always easy.  Any relationship is fundamentally built on trust.  Without trust the relationship will be shaky and not likely to last.  Romantic relationships, like friendships and family connections should feel mutually respectful.  Things that damage respect include contemptuous reactions such as hurtful insults, constant criticism, rigid defensiveness and shutting down a partner’s attempts to communicate.  If your partner emotionally hurts you in one of these ways, they should show a genuine desire to apologize and repair the hurt. Physical force - a partner putting their hands on you - is a full-stop red flag and needs to be addressed before the relationship continues.  Romantic partners should have a sense of teamwork - a satisfying feeling of shared effort and shared emotions.  In a good relationship you should be able to comfortably say “I know my partner has my back.”   Call our Tallahassee office if you would like to explore couples counseling.  

My child has disruptive behaviors and can’t focus.  I think it’s ADHD and it’s exhausting me. What can I do?  First, helping your child. Childhood ADHD is best diagnosed and treated through the combined efforts of a primary care physician and a mental health provider who can put together a thorough developmental and behavioral history.  Treatment consists of emotional and behavioral regulation skills taught at school and home sometimes accompanied by medication. Second, helping yourself.  Raising kids is hard, and ADHD can make it harder.  Be patient. Recognize that the behaviors are not intentional but just the best way the child knows how to handle things.  Have self-compassion.  Don’t beat yourself up about being stressed out or fantasizing about flying away to a quieter place.  Parental stress is uncomfortable but very common.  Finally have hope.  Children mature with a mixture of love and boundaries.  And sometimes that high energy and hyper focus can be a unique strength later in a child’s life.   

We offer counseling in Tallahassee and Apalachicola that helps individuals impacted by attention challenges, and also helps families work as a team to address ADHD.  

More than 40,000 people die by suicide every year in the US.  We can all help prevent suicide by reaching out to people we think may be in crisis and by changing the way we think and talk about suicide, depression and mental health.  Risk factors for suicide include hopelessness, depression, substance use, trauma, and a feeling of isolation.  

​If you feel someone is thinking about ending their life, or going through a difficult period of hopelessness and isolation, reach out to the, Ask them about their feelings, offer support and guide them to professional help. 

Tallahassee has resources to help stabilize people and get them the mental health support they need.  Big Bend 211 is a local help line that includes mental health support.  988 is the national lifeline.  The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States.

After being in school for several weeks some children and teens can start to feel stress, anxiety and depression about their lives.  It could be feeling like they don't quite fit in socially, or it could be worry about grades.  It's helpful for kids to be able to talk to a parent or trusted adult about what they are going through, but it is not always easy for them.  To help them along keep these things in mind:

• Don't dismiss their thoughts and feelings.  You may not agree with the thought "I'm doing bad in math because the teacher is terrible" but allow your child to state what they think and feel.  Accept what they have to say before you jump in. 
• When you first respond, resist the urge to suggest a solution.  Show that you hear what they say and acknowledge that in some way by responding with something like "I see why you feel that way" or "That sounds really difficult."  Show them you are on their side.  Solutions can come later.    
• Don't minimize the pain and discomfort they may experience from stress and anxiety.  Responses like "You'll be fine" or "Just study harder" or "You can find other friends" send the message that their thoughts are not important.  Again, show them you are listening and acknowledging their situation.
• When they have expressed themselves and you feel they are open to suggestions, ask first what ideas they have about reducing their problems, stress, or anxiety.  Use their ideas as the starting point for your own thoughts and suggestions.  
• Remind them that stress and worry are normal human emotions, not something they need to push away or be ashamed of.  Emphasize their strengths and their ability to be "OK" with uncomfortable emotions and still continue on with the important things in their lives.        

The term performance anxiety is often associated with athletes and performers. Performance anxiety can typically be associated with a runner getting nervous before a big race or a singer getting stage fright before hitting the stage in front of a large crowd. However, performance anxiety can affect all types of people and is not an issue or problem that only exists in high pressure performance scenarios. Everyday, people are counted on to perform to the best of their ability for lots of reasons. Performance anxiety can affect a surgeon going into an operation, a CEO getting ready for a big pitch, or a member of the military about to go overseas. It can also affect daily activities one may not typically view as performance related such as taking a test or being expected to interact with new people.

Now that we know performance anxiety can impact everyone, what can we do about it? There are several techniques athletes are trained to use that can also be utilized in daily life. For example, visualization is a technique where an athlete visualizes a high pressure scenario while they are in a calm state, in order to properly prepare for how to react while in the real performance situation. This is a performance technique that can benefit someone struggling with social anxiety as well. If someone is nervous before a meeting where they have to meet new people, the night before the meeting they should try to visualize themselves shaking hands, introducing themselves, and making small talk. Once the person enters the meeting, they should feel more confident now that they have mentally prepped themselves before they even got into the room. Visualization is not the only technique athletes use that translates into everyday life. Some other techniques are positive self talk, imagery, breathing techniques, and goal setting. 

Anxiety can present itself in all types of ways and it is important to find techniques and coping mechanisms that work for you. If you feel as though you could benefit from finding new coping mechanisms and learning how to adopt positive mental performance techniques, feel free to reach out to Gulf Wind Counseling at 850-597-7833 for help.

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